I'm definitely still working on practicing this myself. I find that I'm still often shoving my needs down until they can't be ignored anymore, but it's hard not to as a parent of two young kids. I'm trying to balance caring for myself with showing up for them, and hoping that it gets easier to care for myself better as they get older.
This is why context is so important! If I stull had children at home I would have needed to find different ways to look after myself. HIding in bed wouldn't have been an option, but I imagine i would have trued to negotiate a pj and movie day woth beige buffet for tea!
I often wonder how things would have been if I'd had all this knowledge when they were younger. Living in a multiply nd household (even when you do t know it) has so many challenges and I would definetly do things differently now.
We do much more screen time than I'd like, but it's often the only way to get much quiet. I'm lucky that my husband's job allows a decent amount of PTO, and also he's very involved when he's home, so sometimes I do just hide away in bed (although I also can't escape the noise that way as long as they're both home together). I am looking forward to when they're both in school so I can sit in silence on a regular basis. And it makes me feel guilty for wanting to rush through to the next phase, because of course there's a lot I love about this one and I'll miss it, but this one is really hard.
My wife and I would definitely do a lot of turn taking and used to talk about going to work for a rest.
I can sometimes still feel guilty about finding parenting so overwhelming (even with adults).
These days its easier because we have a shared language and better understanding of all our needs. I can tell then i'm dysregulated or why I need to process things differently and they can do the same (sonetimes). Knowledge helps us all show more compassion to each other and let's us avoid getting stuck in the feedback loops we used to (most of the time).
Yes! One thing I'm thankful for and proud of is that I am able to explain to my kids why certain things are so hard for me/us, and let them know that it's not personal when I need more space or get dysregulated and lash out. They're still so young that it's still a little hard for them to understand, I think, but I'm glad that I'm already in the habit of having these conversations, because I think it will help us a lot later on.
Shows/films I love to binge/rewatch - Heartstopper (Netflix), QI (BBC), Red, White And Royal Blue (Film on Amazon Prime that I've watched twice in two weeks 👀.), Bake Off (All 4), Taskmaster (All 4). I find them all very comforting and easy to watch. 🖤
Thank you Becky 💜
I'd forgotten all about bake off, that might be just what I need!
I'm definitely still working on practicing this myself. I find that I'm still often shoving my needs down until they can't be ignored anymore, but it's hard not to as a parent of two young kids. I'm trying to balance caring for myself with showing up for them, and hoping that it gets easier to care for myself better as they get older.
This is why context is so important! If I stull had children at home I would have needed to find different ways to look after myself. HIding in bed wouldn't have been an option, but I imagine i would have trued to negotiate a pj and movie day woth beige buffet for tea!
I often wonder how things would have been if I'd had all this knowledge when they were younger. Living in a multiply nd household (even when you do t know it) has so many challenges and I would definetly do things differently now.
We do much more screen time than I'd like, but it's often the only way to get much quiet. I'm lucky that my husband's job allows a decent amount of PTO, and also he's very involved when he's home, so sometimes I do just hide away in bed (although I also can't escape the noise that way as long as they're both home together). I am looking forward to when they're both in school so I can sit in silence on a regular basis. And it makes me feel guilty for wanting to rush through to the next phase, because of course there's a lot I love about this one and I'll miss it, but this one is really hard.
My wife and I would definitely do a lot of turn taking and used to talk about going to work for a rest.
I can sometimes still feel guilty about finding parenting so overwhelming (even with adults).
These days its easier because we have a shared language and better understanding of all our needs. I can tell then i'm dysregulated or why I need to process things differently and they can do the same (sonetimes). Knowledge helps us all show more compassion to each other and let's us avoid getting stuck in the feedback loops we used to (most of the time).
Yes! One thing I'm thankful for and proud of is that I am able to explain to my kids why certain things are so hard for me/us, and let them know that it's not personal when I need more space or get dysregulated and lash out. They're still so young that it's still a little hard for them to understand, I think, but I'm glad that I'm already in the habit of having these conversations, because I think it will help us a lot later on.
I love this, Louise.
Shows/films I love to binge/rewatch - Heartstopper (Netflix), QI (BBC), Red, White And Royal Blue (Film on Amazon Prime that I've watched twice in two weeks 👀.), Bake Off (All 4), Taskmaster (All 4). I find them all very comforting and easy to watch. 🖤