Yes!!! This is incredible. Neurodivergent and hyper sensitive humans please read this.
This model is just what I needed to hear as a new parent. It took me years to find what helped, which in retrospect seems so obvious. To have time and space to regulate through the things I love. I want to see this model making ripples out into the world and changing lives. 🌀
Thank you, I’m someplace to hear it resonates and that you’ve figured out what works for you.
It sounds so simple once we get to a place where we can respond to ourselves with kindness and compassion, but we are bombarded by so many unhelpful beliefs and expectations that getting there can take a long time.
But I really believe that the more of us who are doing it and sharing what works for us, the more collective permission we give our community to find their own way.
Exactly. It took years and absolute crisis to do this “obvious” work and it was incredibly hard from a mindset point of view. But in retrospect, of course that is what I needed. It’s hard to explain to anyone who still feels tethered by all the “should.” It’s such a validation to find community in it all - even an ocean apart! Thank goodness for the internet. Even with all its flaws.
There’s some research starting to come out around the benefits of practicing self-compassion on the wellbeing/mental health of neurodivergent people (particularly ADHD). It’s something that has helped me immensely. Sounds like it would fit your model nicely!
What helps me more than anything is earplugs and boundaries. And learning not to care if other people say I'm being anti-social. I explain why briefly, and if they can't understand it's their problem. This has been the hardest part for me to learn. So while reflecting on your words, yes, it's about self image and finding that confidence to look after my own wellbeing.
I don't know how I coped before I got my ear plugs! But you're right the giving ourselves permission to do the things that are right for us in the face of other peoples opinions can be really hard. It's why I always talk to my clients about having to unlearn old ways of being to make way for new more helpful ones. Easier said than done!
I'm so glad that you have found things that hep you, the more of us doing that, the easier it is for others, we're all making little ripples of change every time we attend to our needs.
I have always found myself bouncing back from burnouts when I get a nice haircut or got some physical workout in. I never really could establish why the “positive momentum” kicked in.
I also could not figure out why my work and mental health suffered if I missed a series of workouts.
Now, thanks to you, I am able to logically frame and internalise the happenings in my mental health and able to take it beyond workouts into other aspects of self care.
Louise, thank you for articulating the idea so simply. When I have a house full of guests and feeling overstimulated, sometimes just a couple of minutes in the bathroom, away from all the noise, helps me calm down immensely! Until I saw your model, I had not realised that it was a form of self care that increased my capacity to socialise for a bit longer.
It really helps me to frame the things that help in a way that my brain will accept, even when it’s fighting against the idea of self-care or compassion. I’m glad it’s useful for you too!
Very very real, relevant and on the money. Need to read, re-read and think/process but thank you for all of this. I feel I am still very much in the downward endless spirals and only just scratching what is/might be my upward ones but this is helpful
I absolute agree to your models of burnout and balance, coming from experience. I've never been tested but I know I'm not a neurotypical model. I regularly write/post about my self-care routine that seems ascetic to many modern NT people, such as: I need to be strict with my bed time (not much variation), food and water intake (no UPF/sugar because it messes with my brain and willpower to say No), and exercise. People commented why I make my life difficult this way, but tbh, no, big no, my life feels much easier because I've got more energy, stable from 5am - 8.30pm, to focus on what matters. Thank you for sharing!
Exactly, when we figure out what works for us and give our selves permission to do it, so many other things get a little bit easier. I'm so glad you've found what works for you!
I am a preeettyy sensitive person, and thank you a lot for this! Really helped, that's why I shared the parts that where most useful. Will reccomend your substack to my substack-newsletter.
Connecting physically with the Sun and Earth, first thing every morning without fail is the self-care that most powerfully activates my balance spiral.
Yesterday I was able to regulate myself through stretching and later went on a walk. This led me to feel pride about it even today. Then it's helped me get many tasks done the first half of my day and be a little kinder to myself today when I am tired. <3 Loved this!
Sometimes it only takes one or two acts of care and kindness for ourselves to start the upward spiral. So glad you were able to give yourself permission 💜🙏
Yes!!! This is incredible. Neurodivergent and hyper sensitive humans please read this.
This model is just what I needed to hear as a new parent. It took me years to find what helped, which in retrospect seems so obvious. To have time and space to regulate through the things I love. I want to see this model making ripples out into the world and changing lives. 🌀
Thank you, I’m someplace to hear it resonates and that you’ve figured out what works for you.
It sounds so simple once we get to a place where we can respond to ourselves with kindness and compassion, but we are bombarded by so many unhelpful beliefs and expectations that getting there can take a long time.
But I really believe that the more of us who are doing it and sharing what works for us, the more collective permission we give our community to find their own way.
Exactly. It took years and absolute crisis to do this “obvious” work and it was incredibly hard from a mindset point of view. But in retrospect, of course that is what I needed. It’s hard to explain to anyone who still feels tethered by all the “should.” It’s such a validation to find community in it all - even an ocean apart! Thank goodness for the internet. Even with all its flaws.
Community is so important with this! Hearing about how other people are navigating it helps us give ourselves permission to find our own ways
There’s some research starting to come out around the benefits of practicing self-compassion on the wellbeing/mental health of neurodivergent people (particularly ADHD). It’s something that has helped me immensely. Sounds like it would fit your model nicely!
That’s interesting to know, I always like hearing about what’s going on I the research world.
What helps me more than anything is earplugs and boundaries. And learning not to care if other people say I'm being anti-social. I explain why briefly, and if they can't understand it's their problem. This has been the hardest part for me to learn. So while reflecting on your words, yes, it's about self image and finding that confidence to look after my own wellbeing.
I don't know how I coped before I got my ear plugs! But you're right the giving ourselves permission to do the things that are right for us in the face of other peoples opinions can be really hard. It's why I always talk to my clients about having to unlearn old ways of being to make way for new more helpful ones. Easier said than done!
I'm so glad that you have found things that hep you, the more of us doing that, the easier it is for others, we're all making little ripples of change every time we attend to our needs.
Thank you for this.
I have always found myself bouncing back from burnouts when I get a nice haircut or got some physical workout in. I never really could establish why the “positive momentum” kicked in.
I also could not figure out why my work and mental health suffered if I missed a series of workouts.
Now, thanks to you, I am able to logically frame and internalise the happenings in my mental health and able to take it beyond workouts into other aspects of self care.
I'm so happy to hear that's it's helped you to to frame your needs in a way that helps you continue to invest in looking after yourself!
Thank you for sharing
Louise, thank you for articulating the idea so simply. When I have a house full of guests and feeling overstimulated, sometimes just a couple of minutes in the bathroom, away from all the noise, helps me calm down immensely! Until I saw your model, I had not realised that it was a form of self care that increased my capacity to socialise for a bit longer.
It really helps me to frame the things that help in a way that my brain will accept, even when it’s fighting against the idea of self-care or compassion. I’m glad it’s useful for you too!
Very very real, relevant and on the money. Need to read, re-read and think/process but thank you for all of this. I feel I am still very much in the downward endless spirals and only just scratching what is/might be my upward ones but this is helpful
Thank you 🙏
It took me along time to recognise my own pattern bouncing up and down the spirals, but knowledge is always the first step to changing old patterns.
Once we begin to uncover what helps, we’re already making shifts (even if we can’t feel them yet) 💜
Hello, Louise, a new subscriber here.
I absolute agree to your models of burnout and balance, coming from experience. I've never been tested but I know I'm not a neurotypical model. I regularly write/post about my self-care routine that seems ascetic to many modern NT people, such as: I need to be strict with my bed time (not much variation), food and water intake (no UPF/sugar because it messes with my brain and willpower to say No), and exercise. People commented why I make my life difficult this way, but tbh, no, big no, my life feels much easier because I've got more energy, stable from 5am - 8.30pm, to focus on what matters. Thank you for sharing!
Exactly, when we figure out what works for us and give our selves permission to do it, so many other things get a little bit easier. I'm so glad you've found what works for you!
Excellent. My husband is going through this now.
I hope the model is helpful!
I am a preeettyy sensitive person, and thank you a lot for this! Really helped, that's why I shared the parts that where most useful. Will reccomend your substack to my substack-newsletter.
Thank you, so pleased you’ve found it helpful 💜🙏
So so real and relevant. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!!
Thank you 🙏💜
Connecting physically with the Sun and Earth, first thing every morning without fail is the self-care that most powerfully activates my balance spiral.
Love this 💜🙏
Yesterday I was able to regulate myself through stretching and later went on a walk. This led me to feel pride about it even today. Then it's helped me get many tasks done the first half of my day and be a little kinder to myself today when I am tired. <3 Loved this!
I love this!
Sometimes it only takes one or two acts of care and kindness for ourselves to start the upward spiral. So glad you were able to give yourself permission 💜🙏