Thanks so much for sharing this, Louise, it resonated a lot! I’ve recently become self employed to better manage my resources and even though I’m working for myself now, it’s still a challenge to manage my energy and I’ve had to remind myself that I need a lot more recharging time than I think I do!
I’m travelling up to Birmingham from London to deliver a workshop next month and like you, have factored in an overnight stay as I know that trying to travel on the day and then speak would have been impossible! It’s frustrating as I do feel like it’s an extra tax but I’m also grateful to have the self awareness now after diagnosis to know what my needs are and hold those boundaries.
Thanks for sharing so openly, it’s always so nice to know that other people understand.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment Allie, it is all about learning this stuff, and then remembering and implementing it. I’m glad you’re finding ways to support yourself.
I've just responded to your note, Louise, but also wanted to add to the comments here as I think this is such an interesting topic.
I don't identify as ND, but I am part of an ND family. I also have chronic health issues and am highly sensitive, so this means I often over-estimate what I can accomplish and become dysregulated
So I definitely value predictability and routine. And regular top ups of my special interests which include silent retreats, writing/reading poetry, and watching cooking shows to kind of pretend I'm there while cooking to a different recipe!
As a neurodivergent person with ME/CFS and anxiety issues I'm afraid to go on trips, and it's difficult to find someone who will go with me. But I'm trying to do more on my own. Planning is exhausting, and when public transport schedules break it can send me into a panic attack. But I'll keep trying. Baby steps :) Thanks for sharing your experience.
I really resonate with what you say Conny, I need all the planning, but it uses so much energy and unfamiliar places cause me much more anxiety because of worries about what happens if something goes wrong. Baby steps (or even penguin steps for when you need a smaller measurement) is definitely the way to go.
I realise how ruthless I have to be now to manage energy, Louise; it's practically a focused interest of mine to strategise about it. I have had a lot going on here lately.
I went away with family for a few days, came back even more dysregulated, absorbing their exhaustion, and then got sick myself. I just recovered, but I'm also dealing with the imminent death of my beloved aunt from the cruelty of cancer.
Recently, sitting with her has been a sad reminder of life's fragility. But you realise how important it is to manage energy for what matters most; otherwise, you'd have none left at all, like I experienced in burnout bending and swaying so much until I broke. I am currently sitting in bed this morning with my dog, sipping milky tea, and catching up on some reading. Again, this Substack space has to be prioritised as not a priority lately, as it has just not been viable to be here as much in the last few months, but I have a lot to write about in my next article when I find the grace to construct it in the context of all that is jumbled up in my head.
I am glad your trip went well despite the disruption and that you are recharging, as you know best. Have a great weekend, engaging in even more activities, and marvel at the talent of your nail technician. I love them.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response Pauline, I'm sorry to hear that you've got so much going on, but heartened that you are doing what you can to look after yourself. There is definitely something about the amount of energy it takes to manage our energy. I often think that staying well is really my full-time job and everything else is a bonus.
You've made me wonder if I can manage half an hour in bed with my tea between clients this morning, it sounds blissful. I'm sure that whenever you have space to write again there will be as much wisdom and richness in your words as I always find there, and I'm happy to wait until the time is right.
My nail tech is amazing and more than worth the investment for the amount of joy I get looking at my nails each day!
Thank you for this...as someone who has only recently realised I have spent my whole life with undiagnosed ADHD, I find it really useful to recognise my limitations in others' experience , AND to know there are more and other ways I can help myself.
(And to re-evaluate a looming trip to London to see my boy!)
The more we know about ourselves and our needs, the easier it is to look after ourselves (although that doesn't necessarily make it easy!) I feel like because our spikey profiles can be so fluid, I'm constantly having to recalibrate my expectations of myself and my needs.
I hope you can find the right balance for your trip.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Louise, it resonated a lot! I’ve recently become self employed to better manage my resources and even though I’m working for myself now, it’s still a challenge to manage my energy and I’ve had to remind myself that I need a lot more recharging time than I think I do!
I’m travelling up to Birmingham from London to deliver a workshop next month and like you, have factored in an overnight stay as I know that trying to travel on the day and then speak would have been impossible! It’s frustrating as I do feel like it’s an extra tax but I’m also grateful to have the self awareness now after diagnosis to know what my needs are and hold those boundaries.
Thanks for sharing so openly, it’s always so nice to know that other people understand.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment Allie, it is all about learning this stuff, and then remembering and implementing it. I’m glad you’re finding ways to support yourself.
I hope your workshop goes well!
I've just responded to your note, Louise, but also wanted to add to the comments here as I think this is such an interesting topic.
I don't identify as ND, but I am part of an ND family. I also have chronic health issues and am highly sensitive, so this means I often over-estimate what I can accomplish and become dysregulated
So I definitely value predictability and routine. And regular top ups of my special interests which include silent retreats, writing/reading poetry, and watching cooking shows to kind of pretend I'm there while cooking to a different recipe!
As a neurodivergent person with ME/CFS and anxiety issues I'm afraid to go on trips, and it's difficult to find someone who will go with me. But I'm trying to do more on my own. Planning is exhausting, and when public transport schedules break it can send me into a panic attack. But I'll keep trying. Baby steps :) Thanks for sharing your experience.
I really resonate with what you say Conny, I need all the planning, but it uses so much energy and unfamiliar places cause me much more anxiety because of worries about what happens if something goes wrong. Baby steps (or even penguin steps for when you need a smaller measurement) is definitely the way to go.
Haha! Yes, penguin steps. I like that. Thanks, Louise.
I realise how ruthless I have to be now to manage energy, Louise; it's practically a focused interest of mine to strategise about it. I have had a lot going on here lately.
I went away with family for a few days, came back even more dysregulated, absorbing their exhaustion, and then got sick myself. I just recovered, but I'm also dealing with the imminent death of my beloved aunt from the cruelty of cancer.
Recently, sitting with her has been a sad reminder of life's fragility. But you realise how important it is to manage energy for what matters most; otherwise, you'd have none left at all, like I experienced in burnout bending and swaying so much until I broke. I am currently sitting in bed this morning with my dog, sipping milky tea, and catching up on some reading. Again, this Substack space has to be prioritised as not a priority lately, as it has just not been viable to be here as much in the last few months, but I have a lot to write about in my next article when I find the grace to construct it in the context of all that is jumbled up in my head.
I am glad your trip went well despite the disruption and that you are recharging, as you know best. Have a great weekend, engaging in even more activities, and marvel at the talent of your nail technician. I love them.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response Pauline, I'm sorry to hear that you've got so much going on, but heartened that you are doing what you can to look after yourself. There is definitely something about the amount of energy it takes to manage our energy. I often think that staying well is really my full-time job and everything else is a bonus.
You've made me wonder if I can manage half an hour in bed with my tea between clients this morning, it sounds blissful. I'm sure that whenever you have space to write again there will be as much wisdom and richness in your words as I always find there, and I'm happy to wait until the time is right.
My nail tech is amazing and more than worth the investment for the amount of joy I get looking at my nails each day!
Thank you for this...as someone who has only recently realised I have spent my whole life with undiagnosed ADHD, I find it really useful to recognise my limitations in others' experience , AND to know there are more and other ways I can help myself.
(And to re-evaluate a looming trip to London to see my boy!)
The more we know about ourselves and our needs, the easier it is to look after ourselves (although that doesn't necessarily make it easy!) I feel like because our spikey profiles can be so fluid, I'm constantly having to recalibrate my expectations of myself and my needs.
I hope you can find the right balance for your trip.